修改英语作文

Give a Helping Hand as a Volunteer

It is known that the 29th Olympic Games will be held in Beijing on 2008. It’s the time for us to show our civilization to the whole world. And (删掉,and 不放在句首的） in these days, people in Beijing are all working intensively （这个词用得不好，其实一个简单的hard就可以了）to prepare for it. So let us give a helping hand as a volunteer （a volunteer改称volunteers) together.
The main purpose for us to help others（the main purpose of us helping others) is to let them satisfied. What we are doing is to give a (去掉a，convenience通常是不可数的） convenience to them. On one hand, we should be responsible. Beijing is the capital of China. It’s the political center of China. As a volunteer （volunteers), we have the responsibility to let Beijing be more beautiful（冗长，直接说to make Beijing more beautiful)! On the other hand, we should give our attention in the details （冗长，直接说pay attention to detail) . A smile or a greeting will change (为什么要change,本来的不好么？） the figure of Chinese in the foreigner’s mind.（这句话直接改成：A smile or a greeting may leave foreign friends nice impression of all Chinese people) What we are now doing (doing now) symbolize (symbolizes) the quality of (删掉the quality of) Beijinese
2008, a year with full (with full 改成 full of)chances and challenges! Our dreams will float over with Olympics (这句话很奇怪）. We are willing to pray for the Olympics under spots of stars.（这一句也很怪）（可以这样结尾：With the prayer from all of us, our dreams will come true upon the success of Olympics)

Give a Helping Hand as a Volunteer

It is known that the 29th Olympic Games will be held in Beijing ON 2008. It WILL the time for us to show THE CHINESE CULTURE to the whole world. And NOWAWAYS, people in Beijing are all working intensively to prepare for it. So let us ALL VOLUNTEER, AND give a helping hand together.
The main purpose for us to help others is to let them BE satisfied. What we are doing is to PROVIDE convenience FOR them. On one hand, we should be responsible. Beijing is the capital, it’s the political center of China. As a volunteer, we have the responsibility to MAKE Beijing more ATTRACTIVE! On the other hand, we should give our attention TO the details. A smile or a greeting will change the figure of A Chinese in A foreigner’s mind. What we are now doing SYMBOLIZES the PERSONALITY OF PEOPLE FROM BEIJING. 2008, a year full OF chances and challenges! Our dreams will float over with Olympics. We are willing to pray for the Olympics under THE SHINING stars.

嗯，我不知道标题是不是已经定好了的，听着就有点别扭。我是一位英国留学生，所以知道什么样的话是正宗的英文，而什么是中文式的英语。先留着，第二行的will是将要的意思，意思更能表达清楚。cilvilization在这里用并不合适，我相信你要说的是中国文化，而文明是不能被属的。其他的都给你改了，自己看看吧！

I was trying to make corrections, but eventually I thought it would a better idea to rewrite part of it for you.

For a good writing, you not only need correct language usages, but also focus, intended audience, organization, and development. In the process of rewriting this call for volunteers, I might have missed some of your points, so please feel free to contact me if you'd like to. Below is my suggestion:
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Give a Helping Hand as a Volunteer

The 2008 Beijing Summer Olympic Games is coming soon! Ever since the time when Beijing was selected for this privilege, people from Beijing and from all over China have been working hard to get ready for the event. To most Chinese, especially those of us from Beijing, this is a great opportunity for us to showcase the whole world our ancient civilization as well as our friendship, hospitality, and social improvements and economic achievements since the last few decades. We want to offer our guests all the conveniences we can possibly provide and make their stay in Beijing easy and enjoyable so that they can really feel at home. This way, when they leave, they will carry with them a satisfaction and a pleasant memory of Beijing, and China. A smile, a greeting, and even a gesture from you can contribute to the general image that our foreign friends will hold for us for many years to come. By joining us as a volunteer, you can help to achieve these goals, and your every little help can help to make a huge difference for our city and our country.

So join us as a volunteer and as a proud Beijingese. Together let us meet the challenges and seize the opportunities that this spectacular event will bring to us. If we work hard together, we can show the world the quality of us Beijingese and Chinese!

第二行and没有 people in beijing改成people who live in beijing
第三行together加在hand和as之间(好像……)
第九行Beijinese好像是Beijing或china不是北京话吧？
我英语也一般……不合意表欧~~