5555~~雅思大作文,请狠批!求意见,下月考试,本人水平在6-7分间游荡。。。

空运果蔬Topic: Air transport is increasingly used to export some types of fruits and vegetables to countries where those plants can not grow or are out of season. Some say it is a good thing, but others consider this use of transport cannot be justified. What do you think?It is quite common for companies in the world to transport fruits and vegetables to other countries in present-day society.Yet there remains some disagreement as to whether or not this trend has been negative.While there are certainly valid arguments to the country,I firmly believe that the benefits of air transport now far outweigh its drawbacks.Obviously,it is an undeniable fact that air transport has improved the living standards of individuals.First of all,the caters for the basic demands of consumers who desire to taste diverse seasonal fruits and vegetables in different time of the year which is rather unimaginable and unachievable in early times.In the meantime,this trend is in the best interest of farmers.Specifically,their excessive farm products can be exported to other regions or even other destination countries since marketplaces are no longer restricted by the geographical barriers.Equally important,delivering commodities like fruits and vegetables between different areas boosts local economy.Actually,the transport method of planes plays a vital role in the economic prosperity in the sweeping trend of globalizstion.Because of this business institives,we can have our income increased as well as efficiently and reasonably deploy resources.In other words,I would be hard-pressed to imagine what the domestic trade would be like without the assistance of air traffic. Admittedly,the enormous contamination problems which can be attributed to air transport.The carbon emissions that discharged by aircrafts are predicted as one of the major sources of the global warming based on a scientific research of Cambridge University.It may sound too incredible.But it is a arguably truth ,and for this reason,I have to admit that while constant usage of air planes is beneficial in the short term,it long-term influences are generally negative. Nevertheless,we cannot deny this vehicle immediately as it is really irreplaceable and productive. My own view is that,as the the short-distance transport,air transport should be supplanted by some fast track methods(for example:the railway),which are considered more eco- friendly.
2026年09月24日 09:32
有4个网友回答
网友(1):

本人观点如下(仅供参考):
1.整体写的挺不错的。赞一个。
2.有些可能是笔误:
(1)第1段:本人认为在to other countries 之前可以增加from their country,另外不知道作者用valid主要想表达什么意思;
(2)第2段:“the caters for ... in early times.”能否改为“it caters for the basic need of consumers who desire to taste fruits and vegetables which are not in season and which have been rather unimaginable and unachievable at early time.”;
(3)第3段:globalizstion应该为globalization;sweeping trend有出处的吧?我好想没查到啊。
(4)第4段:第一句改为句子更好些。the enormous contamination problems 个人认为改为the great contamination problems更好些 ;institives是不是incentive啊?“...as well as efficiently and reasonably deploy resources.”能否改为“and the resources efficiently and reasonably allocated ”?
(5)第5段:“as the the short-distance transport,”似乎应该为“for the short-distance transport,”,否则不合逻辑。最后再加一句“But if there is a long distance ... ”之类的句子会更好些。
个人意见,仅供参考。

网友(2):

改作文是件费时费力的事情,把他贴到这儿,很少可能几乎没有人会帮你改,我上次悬赏100也没人改,可惜我的写作只停留在5.5,没法帮你改,建议找个英文老师当面改,效果会很好滴,或者直接拉个英语好一些的同学朋友,改改也好,就是别把希望寄托在网上那些与你素不相识的人

网友(3):

pose the question of full question. There are some structure problem u need to fix up. A professional tutor is suggested. An amateur could be misleading.

网友(4):

不错啊!真的。