好吧问答库 > 雅思TASK1评分~这样的作文能大概几分呢?如果有修改意见麻烦写上,谢谢!

雅思TASK1评分~这样的作文能大概几分呢?如果有修改意见麻烦写上,谢谢!

The processing diagram displays how does the glass recycling system run.Firstly, according to the graph, it can be found that the stage one is to collect the worn-out glass which the individuals do not need them any longer. When this kind of object is collected, it will be put in a truck and conveyed to the factory. Now comes to the step two. In this stage, the glass is going to be cleaned by some water with high pleasure. After that, the glass with different colours will be divided into several parts respectively so as to make a further processing. Soon they come to the recycling plant and the next step is an essential link. The glass ought to be put in a furnace in which the glass will be melted into liquid. Finally, the recycled liquid glass and also some other new liquid glass will be respectively poured into a mould. At last, these glasses are placed in the supermarket and able to be sold.To sum up, this method of recycling obliviously enhances the efficiency and also makes recycling much easier than before. Under this systematical method, both the environment and citizens get benefit from it, as well as the recycling plants.

2026年09月28日 02:14

有4个网友回答

网友（1）：

我不知道能几分，但是我觉得好像不够简练，说几个问题
1 the stage one is to collect the worn-out glass which the individuals do not need them any longer.When this kind of object is collected, it will be put in a truck and conveyed to the factory
改：In the first stage, worn-out glasses discarded by inviduals are collected and conveyed to the factory through the truck.

2 Now comes to the step two. In this stage, the glass is going to be cleaned by some water with high pleasure. After that, the glass with different colours will be divided into several parts respectively so as to make a further processing.
改：Then, in the second stage, for further processing glasses are washed by high pressure water and classified by the colours .

你回头试的这么改一改，压缩一下句子，如果觉得字数不够，可以增加点内容,让文章更充实，饱满，语言更精练。我记得是写过你这个图的，但是忘了，图太小，看不见，也帮你加不了什么东西，反正你自己改改咯。还有，注意避免细节的语法和拼写错误。

网友（2）：

这不是以前的雅思题吗，拿来练笔的吧，我考过两次，不过都没遇见过流程图的作文，一般来说流程图的主要意思表达正确完整，顺序无误，连接词使用得当，词汇中有一些高级词汇，字数一定要够，不够铁定扣分，都会在6分以上。这篇大概就是>=6

网友（3）：

得根据实际情况啊，这里有一些语法的错误，还需斟酌斟酌。
大概5—7分之间吧

网友（4）：

建议你直接到新东方的批改网提交一下，有外教批改，
还会给你评论、反馈、意见等
还能给你范文重写什么的，打的分也比较准
我从那改过，还不错。