请帮忙改作文

「I have my best friend. Her name is carol. 」= 又长
又闷.. 要改 「She is very kind and happy.」 = 佢系个开心果
英文用cheerful. 「 She *** iles all day.」= 成日咁开心系用always呢~~~ => Carol is my best friend. She is very kind and cheerful with lovely *** ile always. 「When I am in a bad mood. She will fort me. When I am happy. She will share with my joy. 」=又长
又闷.. 要改 ==> 其实讲来讲去咪系「分享」/「照顾」....... => No matter I am happy or in a bad mood
she always (share interests with me) / (takes care me). 「She likes playing puter games. We love to talk to each other about PC games.」 = 因为>> 你地中意一齐倾电脑games
先至会分享
所以=大家都中意啦. 而且
里句又长
又闷.. 要改. 唔洗前后出现puter games同埋PC games啦 => As we like playing puter games a lot
we share our thoughts always. 「Sometimes she helps me to do homework.」= 如果真系佢帮
唔系唔得
不过话晒功课就唔好咁写. 话佢教你做功课会好啲. 「 She is good at English. She always gets good marks in it. She is the first of my class.」 = 里两句次序唔改有啲怪.. 不如先讲佢成绩好
所以教你会好啲.. logically啲. => She is good (IN) English with (high marking). As her enblish is ranked as the best in my class
she teaches me doing homework sometimes. 2007-04-27 02:52:19 补充： 整句第一part :Carol is my best friend. She is very kind and cheerful with lovely *** ile always. No matter I am happy or in a bad mood
she always (share interests with me) / (takes care me). As we like playing puter games a lot
we share our thoughts always. 2007-04-27 02:53:31 补充： 整句第2part : 因为太多句
加个连接词好啲.(Besides)
She is good (IN) English with (high marking). As her english is ranked as the best in my class
she teaches me doing homework sometimes. 2007-04-27 02:55:14 补充： 整句第一part : (另一写法 留意最后一句)Carol is my best friend. She is very kind and cheerful with lovely *** ile always. No matter I am happy or in a bad mood
she always (share interests with me) / (takes care me). (Moreover
) we like playing puter games a lot (and share) our thoughts always.
参考: as my knowledge
Hope I can help you... I discover that many wers above are wrong... My best friend is Carol. She is always kind and happy. She *** iles all day. When I am in a bad mood
she forts me. When I am happy
I share with her my joy. She likes playing puter games. We love to chat about PC games. Sometimes she helps me with the homework. She is good at English. She always gets satisfactory marks in tests. Her academic result is the first in my class. I hope our friendship will last forever.
参考: me
Carol is my best friend. She always *** ile and kind to everyone. She will fort me when I am down and share my joy when I am happy. PC game is our mon subject for chats. She helps me to do homework too. Her English is good and her score is top in our class. I treasure our friendship to last forever. 大部份用原意，简化写法。直接。减低扣分机会。
参考: my 40 years experience with foreigners
fanyi.yahoo/?source=0U
I have a best friend. Her name is Carol. She is very kind and happy. She *** iles all days. When i am in a bad mood. She will fort me. When i am happy. She will share with my joy. She likes playing puter games. We love to talk to each other about PC games. Sometimes she helps me to do homework. She is good at English. She always gets good marks in it and she is the first of my class. I hope our friendship will last forever. Your writting is clear and concise:) If you are a middle schooler
you should be proud of your English. Just try to connect similar ideas with conjunctions
such as and
or
for example e Doing that will improve your writting. ok :)
carol is my best
she is a happy girl and always has *** ile on her face. whenever i'm not happy
she forts me. and when i'm happy
i like to share my joy with her. she likes to play puter games and PC games is our mon conversation. i often ask help on hw from her. she always get a high mark in english and she is ranked to be the first in my class. i hope our friendship will last forever.
Carol is my best friend. She always very happy
she *** iles all day. She is very kind too.When I am in a bad mood
she will fort me. When I am happy
I will share my joy with her. She likes playing puter games. We love to talk to each other about PC games. Carol is good at English
she always get high marks in tests
she is the first in our class. Sometimes she teachs me to do homeworks. I hope our friendship will last forever. 改好了! 其实你几年班，要作d 咁既野.... 我改左少少内容，就系唔好咁直接话佢帮你做功课，话佢教你呀嘛，咁老师就会高兴d xDD Grammar 都无咩唔arm ，就系有d唔通顺。 英文呢d野睇多d，听多d就得嫁啦，唔一定好辛苦既 唔肯定100% arm
有错再继续改啦.... =]